If not for your wanting eyes
I tell myself if not for them and drunken nights
I'd go run and hide, but I still run and hide

I say if not for city lights
harmless sex and a drink every night
I will rust, but I still rust

how do you describe pain
is it just some words to tame
when the intelligent man reads desperate prose
he cocks his head, contemplates sorrow he doesn't know
that he may never know
that he knew once but in a different form
does he see me on the other side
speaking my truth, lost and misty-eyed
I sure hope he does
I sure hope you do
understand, I wrote this in a gloomy room
and in this room these words were true
can I really push through the page
can I really push through the page
can I really push through the page
can I push through the song


there was this girl I knew
blacked-out, woke up all sore and bruised
and they were just two horny dudes
and she was just a pretty girl
years later they both still say
to the child she did not give away
they say, the other one is the real dad
I talked to this girl only once
stoned and drunk out on a porch out front
she told me all this cause I was crying over a
vile, vengeful girl
then she said if not for her baby boy
if not for him and his blossoming world
she'd had given up long ago
you see, he is all that matters
and then as the whiskey turned
her gaze went low and her speech was slurred
she said "if not for my baby boy
I'd long ago have killed them both"

and if not for anecdotes
that I swallow and keep simply so
I can I act all well and good
I wonder who I'd be

and if not for my poverty
what other 'if not for's' would there be
could I buy my way across the sea
what dreams would I have then

and if not for candlelight
the older folks couldn't read at night
the day would be all
now the night is all